1. The ‘Dear Pizza Lover’ greeting in Domino’s emails is almost sensual to you
Ooh, hello to you too! *winks*
2. You’ve been known to order it last thing at night…
Roll in at 4am, booty call Domino’s.
3. …And first thing in the morning
Hovering over the ‘order’ button at 12 noon ON THE DOT.
4. You always have a discount code
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5. You’ve stared at the ‘quality control’ section on the pizza tracker for what must be hours of your life
FECK YOUR QUALITY! JUST GET IT TO ME.
6. You’re never not thinking about the garlic pizza bread
Cheesy, garlicky goodness.
7. Most people ignore the other sides, but to you they’re just as special
Chicken strippers! Wedges! Twisted dough balls! All beautiful in their own way.
8. And you’re a big fan of the desserts, too
If you order Domino’s without a box of cookies then who even are you?
9. Basically, you treat every Domino’s order as a three-course meal
OPULENCE!
10. You worship at the altar of the garlic and herb dip
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You lick the lid too, because you’re not a wastrel.
11. And you’ve ordered one of these
Anything so you don’t have to share it.
12. People try to get you to order ‘nice pizza’ but you’re just like ‘eh, Domino’s IS nice pizza’
13. And you know you’ve effectively been ruined for all other pizzas
Go ‘way with your woodfire grills and your thin and crispy lark. I want my pizza to be basically a loaf of bread with cheese on it.
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