EVERY WEEKDAY MORNING, DailyEdge.ie rounds up the best of the day’s celebrity dirt – from the top to the very bottom.

#MR NASTY: Simon Cowell is having a baby with the wife of one of his close friends.

It’s not quite as bad as it sounds. The mammy-to-be Lauren Silverman – reportedly around 10 weeks pregnant – is planning to leave her “estranged” husband Andrew Silverman to be with the high-waisted music mogul. (Us Magazine)

It has been dubiously claimed that Cowell’s exes Sinitta and Mezghan Hussainy are very upset about the news. A ‘source’ told the Mail Online:

The other girls can’t believe that she is the one who has [got his baby]. They’ve all met her, they know who she is and they have been reduced to tears by this.

Surely Simon Cowell can’t be that desirable. Surely. Or what hope is there for the world?

#RAGING: Kristen Stewart met some paparazzi, and they made her angry. Very very angry. In a brilliantly 14-year-old way.

Responding to something the photographer said, Stewart replies:

You’re a piece of shit, you don’t deserve to breathe the same air I do.

The paparazzo says “Who’s a piece of shit?”, to which Kristen zings back:

You are, f**kface!

Burn.

YouTube/Çağrı Bozkurt

#BEST PALS: Patrick Stewart took the best side-selfie ever, of himself and Ian McKellen.

The two knights of the realm and (we assume) celebrity pals are doing some theatre together at the moment. P-Stew turned up to work one day, and what should he find but I-Mac sitting on a fire hydrant rehearsing?

Twitter/SirPatStew

Just incredible selfie work. Masterful.

And the rest of the day’s dirt…

• Shakira kissed her fella over a dolphin. Because reasons. (WhoSay)
• Jeremy Renner’s dog is missing, and you can help find it. (ONTD)
• Sean Penn was Madonna’s “true love”, probably. (HuffPo)
• Denise Richards is so hot, she’s suing the person who installed her air con. (TMZ)
• And here’s Michael Bolton topless. (Mail Online)

Yesterday’s Dredge: Harry Styles has had sex with HOW many people?>