THE PRIME TIME debate last night seems to have made the entire country mad for Simon Harris. His incredible debating skills were on display as he debated Sinn Féin’s Peadar Toibín.
"You know what's the best protection of a pregnancy? A mother"
— Myth Addict (@MythAddict) May 22, 2018
Oh snap!!!#rtept pic.twitter.com/xrHzZPwMft
Given his performance, maybe it could be time to set Simon Harris on other problems around the place that need to be sorted out. Before you suggest the Health Service, this is a light hearted article. He obviously should also fix the health service.
Here are some suggestions.
1. Tayto or King?
This debate needs to be settled once and for all and Simon Harris is the man to do so. He’ll assess them both coldly and finally tell us which is the best. Like the reasonable man he is, he will not even consider Hunky Dorys. He will then turn his attention to the Lyons/Barry’s debacle.
If you eat King over tayto you're a protestant
— ci🅰️n (@CianWednesDay) May 18, 2018
2. GDPR
Do any of us actually understand what GDPR actually is or why it’s important? No. Would we understand it if Simon Harris explained to us clearly and concisely? Maybe. It’s worth a shot.
GDPR is the proof I needed that if I just ignore my problems for long enough they'll eventually go away
— Rob O' Sullivan (@Rob0Sullivan) May 22, 2018
3. Arsenal
I know Arsenal have just appointed a new manager but maybe someone should show them the debate from last night so they can appoint Simon instead. He’d definitely get that defence sorted out anyway.
Enjoy my crude Ms paint meme contribution to this day of wednesday's repealin #repealthe8th #simonharris pic.twitter.com/mLIqfij12y
— Ciara Clementine (@CiaraACrybaby) May 23, 2018
4. Brexit
One of the best quotes from the debate last night was no doubt ‘I thought the last 700-800 years were supposed to be making sure that this country should stand on it’s own two feet’. Bearing this in mind we now politely request for Simon Harris to fight all the people proposing a hard border. And of course, Boris Johnson.
me watching Simon Harris talk pic.twitter.com/7rVyhyYci7
— RajiVOTE YES (@jiffington) May 22, 2018
5. The *NSYNC hiatus
*NSYNC have been on hiatus since 2002 and frankly, they deserve a comeback. Simon Harris is the man to convince him to do so. Someone get him the number for Justin Timberlake.
6. Katy Perry
Katy Perry has been acting the absolute melt recently with her mean comments about Meghan Markle’s wedding dress. We’re just suggesting that Simon has a stern word with her. Nothing sinister.
I will never not sing 'don't be afraid to catch fiiiish' when that Katy Perry song comes on x
— Holly x (@hollyshortall) April 8, 2018
7. Eamon De Velera
If we can just build a time machine, we can send Simon Harris back in time and make Dev write a better constitution. It’s a long shot but honestly it’ll probably cheaper than the 5 million other refernda we’re going to have to have.
If your education of Dev came from Rickman's portrayal in #MichaelCollins you'd think he was a right bollix. (You might be right though)
— Damien O'Meara (@damien_omeara) August 26, 2017
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