EALA BHÁN IS a restaurant that serves “classic food with a contemporary twist” in the heart of Sligo town, on the banks of the Garavogue River.

They also serve up *fire emoji* comebacks on TripAdvisor – but they’re not on the menu.

It all started last Thursday, when a review dropped from an Australian couple who had eaten in the restaurant when visiting Sligo. The husband had forgotten to bring his jacket with him and the arrangements to have it posted to him hadn’t worked out before they flew home.

The three star review was titled “HONESTY NOT DELIVERED”:

My wife and i were visiting Sligo from Australia & Restaurant Eala Bhan was recommended to us for evening Dining. Based on that recommendation, we decided to Dine there on the only evening we were staying in Sligo. The food was quite reasonable, however we were extremely disappointed to find that the operator lacked integrity.

We then got the details on the windbreaker debacle:

This comment is based on the fact that I accidentally left my Wind Breaker with Eye glasses in pocket. We only discovered this when we arrived at our next destination, so rang and spoke to the Restaurant Manager (Anthony Gray) who confirmed that the jacket was with them. Based on his agreement to forward the Jacket to me, I e-mailed details of my Credit Card to cover all costs to return the garment to me. When it did not arrive within a week or so, I re-emailed twice with no response. my wife and I have since returned to Australia, short of one Jacket and one pair of glasses.

Bottom line is Food might be O.K. But integrity is seriously lacking.

Grand.

Perhaps a bit dramatic to bring in the man’s integrity but such is the rough and tumble of hard-to-please TripAdvisor reviewers.

Manager Anthony Gray – named in the review – wasn’t going to let it slide though.

His response began:

Dear Graham,

I never usually respond to reviews but have made a exception in your case. We are delighted you enjoyed your meal at multi award winning restaurant here in Sligo serving the finest local sourced ingredients on the very edge of the beautiful Wild Atlantic Way! I apologise that you forgot your jacket and glasses while dining with us.

So far, so polite.

But then things started to get delightfully shady:

I apologise that I had not immediately sent your belongings back to Australia. I should have done a Joe ninety on it and hot tailed it up to the local post office and made your jacket a priority but unfortunately these things don’t always happen the way you may have planed. I mean I’m only trying to run 2 restaurants in the middle of summer while my manager whom I’m delighted to say is 6 months pregnant but unfortunately is suffering God bless her wee soul and out of work resting which i insisted on!!!

He went on to point out the irony of criticising someone else’s forgetfulness in the circumstances:

People make mistakes and forget things just like you did with your possessions. But to come on TripAdvisor and review me about my lack of postal skills honesty and integrity beggars belief considering I never laid my mince pies eyes on you ! I mean you are butchering my name insofar as my forgetfulness yet it was your forgetfulness
that has us here!!!! POT KETTLE BLACK

He’s definitely taken this response up a few notches since the first few lines.

And it only gets better from there:

I just checked the weather forecast in your part of sunny Australia and I reckon you will be fairly safe insofar as your lack of windbreaker……jaysus it’s roasting in your spot boi!! You lucky duck!!!

Your possessions are en route you will be glad to know!!! and as far as my honesty is concerned I’m not even going to charge your credit card for the post furthermore the next time you visit the beautiful Emerald Isle and my County I’ll bring you shopping locally for a new Wind breaker as far i see its a bit of a crime against fashion.

Reading it, you have to feel that the reviewer calling into question his honesty and integrity was the only source of such a cutting response:

So eventually when it cools down in Australia and you put on your Wind breaker on think of your honesty Irish restauranteur who’s full of integrity but you never met and who knows you may even break into a smile and give your face a holiday until then keep her lit .

Keep her lit, indeed.

You can read the full reply on TripAdvisor, so strap yourself in to feel the burn.

We await updates on the windbreaker’s safe arrival down under. Who knows what’s going to happen if it gets lost in the post.

hat tip Joe.ie

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