YESTERDAY THE WORLD learned about the new Facebook app Who Deleted Me, which allows you to see who has de-friended you.
Personally, we don’t believe anyone needs yet another tool with which to measure their social media anxiety. We’re all doing just fine with our own brains.
Here are eight distinct panics every one of us has experienced on social media.
1. “Oh sh**e, can they see I’ve been on their page?”
We’ve all been that LinkedIn user who went to have a mosey on an ex’s page, only to discover that it TELLS THEM who has been there.
Just let us die.
2. “I wonder how many people have muted/blocked me?”
The answer is none. You are perfect and beautiful and hilarious, and there is no need to worry that people are getting sick of your shtick and hitting ‘mute’. None.
3. “Did I just accidentally favourite a month-old tweet?”
You were having a nose! It’s allowed. But then you favourited a tweet from your boss to their best friend, sent three months ago. UNDO. UNDO.
4. “Has that message just gone to the wrong chat group? IT HAS”
You better pray it was an innocuous one.
5. “Did I just reveal myself as a Who.Unfollowed.Me user?”
All it takes is two minutes, and a tweet like this:
And everybody knows your desperation. Everybody.
6. “My selfie only got two likes :(“
Your best friend and a spambot. Not really the validation you crave, is it.
7. “That tweet just lost me five followers!”
What did we do? TELL usssss!
8. “Is that subtweet/vague Facebook status about me?”
Probably not, but still…
COMMENTS