STEVEN TYLER YOWLED in Aerosmith’s hit song Crazy: “girl, you better change your ways, you hear me?”

We would never say that to you.

We love you just the way you are. Crazy ways and all. In fact, we bring the craziness right to you. Every Saturday morning, we dish the dirt on the oddest news the week has had to offer. 

Do you hear us, Steven?

A Star Trek lookalike, who is the spitting image of emotionless Vulcan Mr Spock, has turned down the opportunity to perform in pornographic films. Rory Ives, from Birmingham, has turned down the chance to appear in the Swedish-produced flick. “ It’s not a direction I want to go in,” he said. Live long and prosper, Rory. Or, you know, whatever. (Birmingham Mail)

An anatomically-correct baby doll has shocked toy shoppers. They were caught unawares by the You & Me Mommy Change My Diaper Doll at Toys R Us by the doll having genitals. Listen, don’t tell them, but we’re pretty sure their KIDS have one of those things as well! Down with this sort of thing! (Opposing Views)

An education blogger was fired this week for writing about “homophones”. In Utah (natch), the man was fired from the Nomen Global Language Centre in Provo for writing a post about homophones (words that sound similar). He was accused of promoting a “gay agenda”. Presumably they found his Post-It with “word domination” scrawled on it underneath his next lesson plan. (Newsweek)

Two chefs from Syracuse University cooked steak over molten lava. Interestingly, the two lads made the lava themselves – they embarked on the mission to create manmade volcano juice three years ago. They basically melt rocks with super turbo heat. And then throw some shrimp on the barbie. Yep, we’re sure it’s pretty much exactly that simple. Medium, well-done please, garcon! (Yahoo! Odd News)

Titter Imgur Imgur

Germany can boast of itself as the penis enlargement capital of the world, no less. So, er, well done there. The German Centre for Urology and Phalloplasty Surgery claims that they can increase length by 6cm and girth (titter) by 3cm. 15,414 penis enlargement operations performed worldwide last year. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase: “Hellooooo, nurse!” (Mirror UK)

And one last feelgood nugget before we love you and leave you. A Rhode Island centenarian has been awarded an honorary high school diploma. Mary Moniz received the diploma after more than eight decades of waiting, having to drop out during the Great Depression. IT’S JUST DUSTY IN HERE! WE’RE NOT CRYING! (AP)

Hey you! Yes, you. Reading this right now. Spotted any bizarre news in your local area? Let us know on fiona@dailyedge.ie.

It’s all the previous weird news y’all>