UKRAINE HAS DECIDED to set its sights on the world’s biggest threat to humanity – SpongeBob SquarePants.

According to the Wall Street Journal, the scarily-titled National Expert Commission for Protecting Public Morality in the Ukraine is considering banning the ultra-absorbent one from TV screens.

This measured response to the children’s cartoon is based on a report by the Family Under the Protection of the Holy Virgin website (they don’t appear to do short titles in the Ukraine).

Living in the disgustingly titled, not to mention completely fictional, land of Bikini Bottom, Mr SquarePant’s apparently promotes homosexuality. How he does this, we’re unsure.

Also on Ukraine’s hit-list are the Teletubbies, with Tinky Winky coming in for heavy criticism for his occasional carrying of what looks like a woman’s handbag.

So to summarise, Ukraine has no issue with this (their 2012 Eurovision entry):

(escbelgium7/YouTube)

A cartoon character that sings songs about ripping his pants is a no no, however.

Ukraine’s censors aren’t all bad though. They did, for example, manage to ban the film Brüno for what we can only assume were crimes against comedy.

Read: Watching SpongeBob ‘damages executive function’ in kids >