In America, the stadiums make Croke Park look tiny
See this? This is a college football game.
In Ireland we do things on a slightly smaller scale…
In America, they go all out with their game snacks
But in Ireland, game day food is a little less… extravagant.
In America, the mascots dance for the crowd and generally put on a goddamn show
Meanwhile the official GAA mascot Fionn the Irish Terrier just takes photos with children and sort of walks around the edge of the pitch
In America, this is the entertainment at the biggest sports event of the year
Meanwhile in Croke Park…
The Artane Boys Band are great and all, but they’re no Beyoncé.
In America, they get bona fide stars to sing the national anthem
Whitney! Lady Gaga! Alicia Keys!
And in Ireland?
In America, fans tend to go all out with the face paint and the like
Whereas in Ireland, we’re a little bit more practical
Ponchos and Supermacs hats at the ready!
This is what sports headlines look like in America…
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