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Dublin: 13 °C Wednesday 6 November, 2024

18 essential facts of life for sweaty gals

You don’t ~glow~. YOU SWEAT LIKE A PIG.

1. You carry deodorant with you everywhere out of pure fear

2. And you have a favourite you will not stray from, out of pure fear

3. You rarely wear grey tops unless you know for certain you’ll be sitting motionless in an air-conditioned room

4. Wanting a fringe, but knowing it would be stuck to your forehead 90% of the time

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5. Boob sweat is a legit concern 365 days a year, not just summer

6. Hugging people and hoping they don’t put their hand on your back, which will surely be damp

7. Avoiding satin entirely

8. Thinking the ‘layering’ trend for winter is cute, but knowing you’d be drowned in your own sweat by the end of the day

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9. Knowing this and layering anyway, to the exact outcome you predicted

10. Not even attempting to straighten your hair, because LOL

11. Trying to get places early so you can freshen up before having to face anyone

12. But if not, it’s OK, because you’ve become an expert at secretly and swiftly dabbing your forehead

bXLRW Popkey Popkey

13. You’re constantly on alert for sweat patches. Even if you’re wearing black. You’re just always thinking about them

14. You’re also always moments away from thinking “DO I SMELL?”

15. You check this wherever and whenever you can

16. But still avoid raising your arms in front of people, just in case

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17. A bout of rigorous dancing in da club causes you to sweat buckets…

18. …so it’s truly amazing what actually going to the gym does

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Author
Valerie Loftus
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