THE KOMODO DRAGON chilli is the hottest ever commercially grown chilli pepper to be sold on a supermarket shelf, and it’s coming to Ireland.

The Komodo Dragon is grown in the UK and measures up to 1.4 million Scoville units. To give you some idea of what that means, the jalapeno pepper measures 3,500 Scovilles, and the Scotch Bonnet can measure up to 350,000 Scovilles.

The dragon will be available for the limited run in Tesco Ireland on Monday August 31.

I was unfortunate enough to get a sample before they hit Irish shelves on Monday and I REGRET EVERYTHING

Here’s the size of the slice I ate, compared to the full chilli

I foolishly thought it may not be spicy enough to have an impact, and therefore be a disappointment, so I kept some of the seeds on the segment to make sure I got the full kick.

HA.

I had gloves and a carton of milk on standby, these warnings freaked me out but I soldiered on like some oblivious goon.

‘Skin irritant’… oh grand

- me, probably

The taste, of a thousand flames

After some hesitation–I’m not an animal–I just went for it. At first, it’s like a standard chilli. No bother.

Then suddenly it’s like someone set my damn mouth on fire with a match made of flames, then doused it all with petrol and set fire to it again.

It’s not so much the pain, but the panic that gets you. The panic of, omfg-if-this-was-being-filmed-id-be-all-over-the-internet-with-my-stupidity kind of panic.

The spice gets the back of your tongue, like it’s being pinched, with a dry burn evaporating every bit of saliva you thought you had. Gasping doesn’t help, it literally just fans the fire, and I could barely lift some milk because I was SHAKING. Dear reader, there were tears.

If you think I’m exaggerating, check out these lads.

The aftermath

As I sit here now, nostrils burning and vague sense of a swollen right cheek, I realise I can’t handle spicy food as well as I thought I could. The pain lasted about six minutes but I can still feel the after effects now. I touched my eyelid after handling a chilli and I’m pretty certain the skin is slowly dissolving away, still.

Essentially, the Komodo Dragon is evil, but perfect if you want to spice up your meal (like  guests running from the room) spice-up or play the cruelest of all pranks.

Obviously nobody recommends you bite a big chunk of it raw like this genius did.

They’re available from Tesco on August 31, but only in some special branches.

Proceed with caution.

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