EVERY MORNING, we dig through the celebrity dirt to bring you the best of it. Here’s The Dredge…

Katy Perry’s most recent hairy boyfriend John Mayer is a thoroughly modern man, so he used email to e-dump the pop star. Which wasn’t nice, because “she was into him, but he wasn’t feeling it”. (Perez)

In further Katy Perry Injustice News, it’s emerged that BBC radio DJ Scott Mills made her run out of the room crying when he confronted her with a Russell Brand lookalike. (The Sun)

But it’s not all bad, because our Katy was actually secretly in love with Robert Pattinson all along. (EntertainmentWise).

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The Words

Candle: The object Lindsay Lohan spent $100 on from room service during a seven-week stay at LA’s Chateau Marmont hotel, in which she ran up a $46,350 bill before being thrown out for not paying it. She also spent $3,145 on the minibar. (TMZ)

Animosity: Something that definitely, definitely, absolutely doesn’t exist between Brian McFadden and Westlife, according to Louis Walsh, who was speaking after it emerged that neither Westlife nor Walsh would be attending Brian’s wedding to Vogue Williams. Walsh said: “I can always go to the next one.” (Irish Daily Star)

Brian McFadden and Shane Filan in happier times (MIKE WHEELER/Press Association Images)

His Own Business: How a Buckingham Palace ‘insider’ apparently described Prince Harry’s love for the traditional royal pastime of nudey snooker. (Perez)

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The Dirt

Adele’s boyfriend and baby-daddy Simon Konecki has maybe, possibly, put a ring on it. (Life and Style)

Glenda Gilson would totally pose in the nude if it was done in, like, “a classy or artistic fashion”. (Irish Daily Star)

Cheryl Cole and Will.i.am were in a car crash, but they’re OK, although Will has acknowledged that car crashes are “not dope”. (Daily Mail)

Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband Kris Humphries is being sued by a woman who claims he gave her herpes (TMZ).

New pictorial evidence shows Victoria Beckham had the best fun ever during Olympic closing ceremonies rehearsals with the other Spice Girls:

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The Barrel Scraper

A bag of books, you say? THE PLOT THICKENS. (Mail Online)

Yesterday’s Dredge: Robert Pattinson is boxing up all Kristen’s CDs>