1. If you’ve heard a hairdresser say you have ‘good thick hair’ once, you’ve heard it a thousand times

2. You need to set aside a whole day to get your hair done, because there’s so much to get through

3. The clippings from just getting it ‘thinned out’ would be enough to make a lovely toupee

4. You can never get over how much lighter your head feels after. *flicks hair*

5. There is a fine sprinkle of hair on everything you own. Everything

6. You take a good-sized chunk out of the plughole every time you shower

7. Little tumbleweeds of hair blow around the wooden floors in your home

8. And yet you still have so much on your head. How is this possible

9. Blow drying your own hair is an exercise in futility

10. As is straightening it. It takes at least a full hour and by the time you’re done, the bits you did first are already starting to curl again

11. You need to wait at least half a day for your hair to air dry completely

12. You laugh in the face of puny hotel hairdryers

13. Bobbins and hair clips are no match for your sheer girth

14. You have snapped hair brushes trying to get rid of your tangles

15. All the hair tutorials you see are really for girls with hair that can be kept in place with only a few bobby pins, not an entire pack of 60 and a can of hairspray

16. You use an absolutely ridiculous amount of conditioner

17. Humidity makes your hair ten times bigger than it already is. Which is extremely big

18. And in hot weather you often feel like you are wearing a warm woolly hat you can never take off

19. In some photos, you appear to be more hair than woman

20. But despite all this, you’re quite proud of your lion’s mane. As you should be

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