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12 emotions all clueless Grand National spectators can relate to
1. Getting a horse in a draw at work that hasn’t a hope in hell of winning
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2. Before frantically looking for “tips” because you haven’t a bull’s notion about horse racing
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THEY’RE ALL GIVING ME DIFFERENT TIPS.
WHO CAN I TRUST?
3. And when that fails, scouring the line-up for a name you like
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“Whatyoumaycallit – that’s a funny name for a horse! I’ll bet all my money on him!”
4. Walking into the bookies and making the stingiest bet ever
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“€2 each way, please.”
5. Gathering with your loved ones to watch the race and feeling stupidly confident
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6. As you attempt to calculate your potential winnings
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I could win €187!
I think.
Actually, I don’t understand this.
7. Trying and failing to identify your horse
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8. Before hearing the commentator announce that he’s “trailing behind the pack”
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9. But maybe he can still place!
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10. Aaaaand he’s fallen
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11. You start muttering, “Betting is a mug’s game” and walk away before it even ends
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With just a mild trace of bitterness in your voice.
12. Before logging on to Facebook and seeing some smug so-and-so brag about winning €250
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Happy Grand National, everyone!
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Aintree Grand National haven't a notion