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15 pearls of wisdom every Irish child needs to know
HAVE A YOUNG child?
Teach them these 15 pearls of wisdom and they won’t go wrong.
1. First of all, you must learn the art of the Irish apology.
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2. Put on suncream, but don’t worry if you get a bit of sunburn — sure, it’ll turn to tan anyway.
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3. No address? No problem! An Post always finds a way, my child.
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4. If you have these nine words, you’ll be able to make it through just about any hairy situation
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Guaranteed to get you out of any hairy situation you may find yourself in.
5. Advice: he best way to bond with fellow Irishmen is to find something to complain about
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The weather, the government, the GAA — whatever you fancy.
6. But if you have a legitimate complaint to make in, say, a restaurant, keep it to yourself
Oh, your food is cold? Don’t tell the waiter/waitress. Just keep it to yourself, complain about it on the way home and make a solemn vow to “never go back there”.
That’s the Irish way.
7. Respect and value the wisdom of An Garda Síochána
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8. Don’t venture out into the world unless you’re armed with a handful of vague phrases for getting out of conversations
9. Just ignore spellcheck. It doesn’t know what it’s talking about.
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10. You’ll need to get to grips with IST (Irish Standard Time)
11. And you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that public transport runs on IST.
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“Son, that bus might say it’s due in 3 minutes, but it won’t be here for 12 minutes.”
12. You’ll never starve if you can say the words, “Can I have a chicken fillet roll?”
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13. Repeat after us: it’s not ham sandwich, it’s hang sangwich
14. If you don’t know a boy or a girl’s name, simply refer to them as “your man” or “your woman”
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Perfectly acceptable.
15. Finally, learn this song and you’ll be the life of every party
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10 truly Irish ways of blowing people off >
18 things Irish people just love to moan about >
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Craic how to be irish Irish KIDS pearls of wisdom