Advertisement
Dublin: 6 °C Monday 25 November, 2024

15 pearls of wisdom every Irish child needs to know

Listen up, parents.

HAVE A YOUNG child?

Teach them these 15 pearls of wisdom and they won’t go wrong.

1. First of all, you must learn the art of the Irish apology.

9HsgNI3 Imgur Imgur

2. Put on suncream, but don’t worry if you get a bit of sunburn — sure, it’ll turn to tan anyway.

The forever alone sunburn Imgur Imgur

3. No address? No problem! An Post always finds a way, my child.

CJ-ewGTWgAAq07z RoisinHenderson / Twitter RoisinHenderson / Twitter / Twitter

4. If you have these nine words, you’ll be able to make it through just about any hairy situation

flickr Flickr Flickr

Guaranteed to get you out of any hairy situation you may find yourself in.

5. Advice: he best way to bond with fellow Irishmen is to find something to complain about

kids Flickr Flickr

The weather, the government, the GAA — whatever you fancy.

6. But if you have a legitimate complaint to make in, say, a restaurant, keep it to yourself

garlci

Oh, your food is cold? Don’t tell the waiter/waitress. Just keep it to yourself, complain about it on the way home and make a solemn vow to “never go back there”.

That’s the Irish way.

7. Respect and value the wisdom of An Garda Síochána

Ylkwr12 Imgur Imgur

8. Don’t venture out into the world unless you’re armed with a handful of vague phrases for getting out of conversations

leave you

  • I’ll leave you go.
  • Don’t let me keep you.
  • Sure, look, this is it.

9. Just ignore spellcheck. It doesn’t know what it’s talking about.

Irish they would add my name to the dictionary Imgur Imgur

10. You’ll need to get to grips with IST (Irish Standard Time)

watch

11. And you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that public transport runs on IST.

What I see while waiting for a Dublin Bus. Imgur Imgur

“Son, that bus might say it’s due in 3 minutes, but it won’t be here for 12 minutes.”

12. You’ll never starve if you can say the words, “Can I have a chicken fillet roll?”

9sPwHvX Imgur Imgur

13. Repeat after us: it’s not ham sandwich, it’s hang sangwich

1012399_336224586510562_2142262242_n

14. If you don’t know a boy or a girl’s name, simply refer to them as “your man” or “your woman”

woman Flickr Flickr

Perfectly acceptable.

15. Finally, learn this song and you’ll be the life of every party

learn YouTube YouTube

10 truly Irish ways of blowing people off >

18 things Irish people just love to moan about >

Close
4 Comments
    Submit a report
    Please help us understand how this comment violates our community guidelines.
    Thank you for the feedback
    Your feedback has been sent to our team for review.