1. You’re always caught out when someone asks what religion you are
“Catholic. Well, not really…”
2. Despite your various protestations, your parents refuse to accept that you’re not a Catholic anymore
3. Which leads to a lot of Tense Discussions over whether or not you’ll be going to Christmas Mass
4. And God forbid getting married somewhere that isn’t a church
“What do you mean won’t be getting married in a church? Don’t tell me you’ll be getting married in one of those *whispers* registry offices.”
5. Because of your lapsed Catholicism, you often find yourself a little bit lost on the occasions that you *do* have to attend Mass
Everyone else: “And with your spirit.”
You: “AND ALSO WITH YOU”
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6. Even though you are a lapsed Catholic, you’ve still been known to pray to St. Anthony when you misplace something
7. And you’ll never say no to someone lighting a candle for you
8. You feel like a bit of a charlatan whenever you attend a christening
“Yes, I will act as this child’s spiritual guide.”
9. You’re continually surprised by those who do get their kids christened or get married in a church
“Wouldn’t have pegged him as religious.”
10. Despite everything, though, you’ll never *quite* escape Catholicism
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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