SUMMER IN IRELAND. A time of hope, 99s, furtive trips to the seaside, and for many, sneezing.

Here are 12 things hayfever sufferers want everyone else to know.

1. F**k your grass

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Also: f**k your flowers. Yeah. We said it.

2. If you sit beside us, this is what you will have to endure

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No apologies.

3. It doesn’t feel like ‘just a head cold’

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Does your face normally feel like it’s falling off during a head cold? No.

4. Do NOT joke about our obsession with the pollen count

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On any given day, our happiness directly correlates with the pollen count. Wouldn’t you be obsessed too?

5. We’re not actually devastated with life

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WE HAVEN’T BEEN CRYING. IT’S JUST OUR FACES.

6. And we know our makeup is doing a thing

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Miss u liquid eyeliner </3

7. We wish we could have lunch in the park with you…

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But the pollen. The pollen!

8. We wouldn’t force that itch on the roof of our mouths on our worst enemy

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Crunchy food eliminates the problem – but only for so long.

9. Snot is leaking from our noses all day. All day

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And we’re trying our hardest to not let you see it.

10. We’re sort of sorry about all the snotty tissues

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It’s disgusting, but we CAN’T HELP IT. Pass the Man Size, pls :(

11. And the mouth breathing

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We don’t like it much either, if we’re honest.

12. But there’s always the chance that tomorrow’s pollen count will be low

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Then we can be human again, and not red-eyed, barely functional snot buckets. Fingers crossed!

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