1. The quality of guests on The Late Late Show versus guests on The Graham Norton Show
Every.
Friday.
Night.
2. British media claiming Irish celebrities as their own
3. The fact that the song (read: absolute banger) from the Eir ad is now constantly stuck in your head
4. People not standing their round in the pub
“Oh Sean? I was once out with him seven years ago and he didn’t buy a round. I’ve never forgotten.”
“Stingy bastard.”
5. Anyone perceived to “love him/herself”
If there’s anything Irish people can agree on, it’s that we can’t stand people who love themselves.
6. Anyone perceived to be “up him/herself”
Irish person #1: “She’s so up herself.”
Irish person #2: “WELL THEN, SHE SHALL BE MY ENEMY FROM HERE ON OUT.”
7. The fact that we never have a white Christmas
8. Until we do get snow in December, that is, and we quickly become snow’s greatest critics
“I HATE THE SNOW, I WISH IT WOULD HEAD OFF” – You, after it snows and your bus is delayed by 10 minutes.
9. Public transport acting the maggot
Don’t get us started on any of the following:
- Having to stand on a train
- Dublin Bus not arriving when it says it will on the app
- Bus fares going up
10. Things not being open on Good Friday
“Bad Friday”.
11. U2 doing pretty much anything
How dare they give us a free album! And why are they only playing four dates in Ireland?
12. The weather
When it’s sunny: “It’s just too close. We could do with a drop of rain.”
When it’s raining: “I AM EMIGRATING.”
13. Bad Irish accents in films
If you’re an actor and you do a bad Irish accent in a film, we will never let you live it down. (Just ask the cast of Far and Away.)
14. The Modh Coinníolach
You haven’t studied it in 13 years, but the mere mention of the conditional tense is enough to fill you with righteous rage and anger.
15. That shower over in Kildare Street
That shower? Don’t get us started on that shower.
16. Weak tea
If you serve us weak tea, there will be hell to pay.
17. Ryanair
You: “I’m never flying Ryanair again. No way. It’s not worth it. I’m starting a boycott.”
*e-mail arrives with subject line “Ryanair Seat Sale!”
You: “I’m going to Copenhagen!!!”
And the circle continues…
18. And finally… people love to moan about how we’re a nation of moaners
Oh, the irony.
Around Ireland in 13 epic food challenges >
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