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Dublin: 5 °C Monday 18 November, 2024

8 things that Leo Varadkar needs to work into Brexit negotiations for us

On the first day of Brexit, Leo Varadkar gave to me…

1. Access to BBC iPlayer.

PastedImage-14827 BBC BBC

There’s only so much content that anyone actually wants to watch on RTÉ Player.

2. If free UK delivery applies above the border, then it can definitely be extended to all 32 counties.

Parcel Motel stock Niall carson Niall carson

Anywhere that offers free UK delivery should have to offer free UK and Ireland delivery once Brexit is in motion. They should have been offering it to us all along, but the Brits have been taking us for fools, thinking we wouldn’t notice.

It takes the same amount of resources (perhaps even less), to send a package from England to central Ireland as it does to send it to the north of Ireland. Half of the stuff going up north probably passes through Dublin port anyway.

3. Krispy Kreme

No matter how many donut shops we get in Dublin, none can rival Krispy Kreme. There’s no reason why the UK should have Krispy Kreme and we shouldn’t.

4. Getting rid of Mrs. Brown’s Boys.

mrs-brown-e1418302007877 BBC BBC

Leo Varadkar can use Mrs. Brown’s Boys as a bargaining chip. We’ll swap you Mrs. Brown’s Boys for BBC iPlayer. Nobody here will miss it.

5. A certain six counties…

1200px-Northern_Ireland_-_Counties Wiki Wiki

6. Lower the price of Irish Freddos and Animal Bars to match the British prices.

With Animal Bars gone up to 63c, it’s time for the government to take action.

7. Ask the UK to come and collect Ed Sheeran.

Capital's Jingle Bell Ball 2017 - Day Two - O2 Arena - London PA Wire / PA Images PA Wire / PA Images / PA Images

He’s only encouraging Niall Horan and Saoirse Ronan to play up their Oirishness abroad and it’s stressing us all out.

8. Nobody can ever utter the word ‘Londonderry’ again.

Poster/Free Derry Corner PA Archive / PA Images PA Archive / PA Images / PA Images

Rewrite every British geography book.

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