1. Not buying enough diamonds
2. Contributing to the demise of fabric softener
3. Soap falling out of fashion
4. Having the gall to live with your parents past the age of 18
5. Not buying enough ‘light yoghurt’
Heaven forbid!
6. Moaning in spite of having degrees and enjoying low interest rates
How dare you complain about things like high rents, cripping debt, unpaid internships and lack of job security when you have a degree?
7. Not trying hard enough to get into golf
Damn these millennials for not sitting around and watching golf for hours on end.
8. Destroying civilisation
9. Not supporting this mom-and-pop burger restaurant
10. Not engaging in enough gambling
11. Turning off potential employers with their smell
So you’re saying bad body odour is what’s to blame for unemployment and emigration? Interesting. Very interesting.
12. Conspiring to kill the napkin industry
13. Drinking too many goddamn lattes
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