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10 things nobody tells you about giving birth
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HAVING A BABY is a beautiful, wonderful, magical thing.
But giving birth? That’s an entirely different kettle of fish.
First things first, it usually isn’t that dramatic when your waters break
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Here’s what usually happens in films: a woman is standing in the middle of the street or somewhere equally inopportune when – surprise! – a massive puddle of water falls to the ground. “I think my waters just broke,” she says.
In real life, however, it usually doesn’t go like that.
While some women do experience the massive gush you see in films, others liken the experience to weeing yourself or starting your period. (Fun fact: you lose up to 800ml of fluid.)
Women we spoke to reported experiencing a sort of “pop” sensation.
As for where it happens? A lot of women will have their waters broken in the hospital or while already in labour, so it won’t be that big a surprise. For others, it will happen before labour starts.
And is it actually water?
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No, it’s amniotic fluid. They can be completely clear (like water), pale pink or straw-coloured (think very pale pee). If it’s a bit green or brown, it might mean the baby has had a bowel movement, in which case you should call the doctor.
Oh, the joys.
Just how painful is labour?
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Here are some choice quotes from a Mumsnet discussion on the subject.
CHRIST.
As with everything, though, it differs from person to person. For others, it’s intense, but manageable.
Is it true you might poo during labour?
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Yes.
But honestly, you won’t even care when it happens. The medical staff have seen it all before and you’re so caught up in the moment and the job at hand that it won’t even really register on your radar.
As Tracy Moore wrote for Jezebel in an article entitled How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Pooping During Childbirth:
So now.
Oh, and there’s so much blood.
Express Express
A clean and mess-free process, it ain’t.
On average, women will lose between 500ml and 1 litre of blood, although some women will lose between 1 litres and 2 litres. (This is classified as ‘major postpartum haemorrhage‘.)
*weeps*
What about… tearing?
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According to Baby Centre, 90% of women tear when giving birth vaginally. Anyone with a vagina will probably shriek at that statistic, but we’re assured that most tears are minor.
You’ll need stitches if you experience a second degree tear, a third degree tear or a fourth degree tear. (More horrifying details on what these entail here.)
You’ll also need stitches if you have an episiotomy – this is when your doctor makes a cut in the ‘perineum’ (the space between your vagina and back passage.)
*winces*
And how do the stitches work?
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We asked one Mam about the experience…
Phew.
Will you be sore afterwards?
Let’s just say you’ll feel a bit tender and a bit nervous about your first post-baby poo.
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There may also be stinging.
What about delivering the placenta?
Yep, just when you think the whole thing is done, you have to go and deliver the placenta.
And it’s no picnic.
Yippee.
Oh, also there’ll be a lot of smells.
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Any other changes I should know about?
In short?
There’ll be pain and embarrassing things will happen and your vagina will have the biggest audience it will ever have… but you won’t really care.
And hey, you’ll get a little baby at the end.
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