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FOR MANY IRISH people, going to Mass on Sundays was a part of growing up.
Whether you liked it or not, you got your arse out of bed and dragged it to your local church each and every week (until you either got into it, or out of it).
Thus, there are certain experiences that all mass goers remember. Here are 20 things that happened at Mass.
Peace be with you fakeouts
Oh, you want a hand shake? Too slow! (Siblings only or you’d be in big trouble.)
Peace be with you discomfort
Why do you have to shake hands with that strange man from down the road? You don’t want to!
Sulking
Because you didn’t want to be there, because your older sister didn’t have to go, because you weren’t allowed to bring your new Barbie…
Sneaky exits
Teenagers always seeming to sidle off straight after communion leaving you seething with jealousy.
Getting the Sunday papers and/or an ice cream on the way home
Someone standing when they weren’t meant to
Hopefully not you this week.
Scolding
For any number of things. Being loud, messing with the holy water, forgetting to genuflect.
Someone squirming
Nothing worse than getting a runny nose during mass or needing to go the bathroom and realising you were essentially stuck for an hour.
Looks of delight/despair upon entering the church
Depending on who the priest is you might get out quickly… or be there for an eternity.
Mortification
If you were unlucky enough to be the last person to get passed the money basket and had to walk it up to the front of the church you were definitely morto.
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Hormones
Young men and women scoping out the people they fancied from across the church. IF THE PRIEST ONLY KNEW!
The giggles
Someone always gets the giggles. And they’re always contagious.
Farting
Someone always farts. Always.
Smugness
Oh, you don’t know all the words to this hymn? Well I do!
Monday 23 December, 2024
Monday 23 December, 2024
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20 things that always happened at Mass
FOR MANY IRISH people, going to Mass on Sundays was a part of growing up.
Whether you liked it or not, you got your arse out of bed and dragged it to your local church each and every week (until you either got into it, or out of it).
Thus, there are certain experiences that all mass goers remember. Here are 20 things that happened at Mass.
Peace be with you fakeouts
Oh, you want a hand shake? Too slow! (Siblings only or you’d be in big trouble.)
Peace be with you discomfort
Why do you have to shake hands with that strange man from down the road? You don’t want to!
Sulking
Sneaky exits
Bribery
Someone standing when they weren’t meant to
Scolding
For any number of things. Being loud, messing with the holy water, forgetting to genuflect.
Someone squirming
Looks of delight/despair upon entering the church
Depending on who the priest is you might get out quickly… or be there for an eternity.
Mortification
If you were unlucky enough to be the last person to get passed the money basket and had to walk it up to the front of the church you were definitely morto.
Hormones
Young men and women scoping out the people they fancied from across the church. IF THE PRIEST ONLY KNEW!
The giggles
Someone always gets the giggles. And they’re always contagious.
Farting
Someone always farts. Always.
Smugness
Oh, you don’t know all the words to this hymn? Well I do!
Coughing
You would think that priests would have mastered the incense but from time to time it’s a little out of control.
Children running up to the altar
There’s always one. The parents are always mortified.
Good singing
Always really loudly, always showing off.
Bad singing
Always really loudly, always out of key.
Miming the words
Always by the people who wished they could just disappear.
Commentary
There were always auld lads standing down the back of the church (despite there being room to sit) making remarks about the people sitting down.
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