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What they mean: “I’m going to buy a load of fruit and veg in my next Big Shop. I will eat one banana and a handful of spinach and then let them all rot. *shrugs*”
2. “Yeah mam and dad, I’ll make sure to get travel insurance. OK, bye. Byebyebyebyebye.”
What they mean: “This shirt will stay at the bottom of my laundry pile for, oh, four months? Then I will give up and throw it into a normal wash. Fingers crossed!”
What they mean: “I’ve had a spoon of peanut butter and a dry bagel that was just a tiny bit mouldy, but not mouldy enough to throw out. In other words: dinner.”
8. “John has a new girlfriend? I did not know that!”
What they mean: “Of course I know that. I’ve scrolled deep into her Instagram, her friends’ Instagrams, and the Instagrams of their cousins. I know everything.”
9. “Going home to see the parents at the weekend! It’ll be nice.”
Coming home for the weekend is the best because my parents actually have food.
Friday 8 November, 2024
Friday 8 November, 2024
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10 things all twentysomethings say, and what they really mean
WE’RE NOT LYING. We’re just being creative with the truth.
1. “I want to stop eating crap and have more fruits and vegetables.”
What they mean: “I’m going to buy a load of fruit and veg in my next Big Shop. I will eat one banana and a handful of spinach and then let them all rot. *shrugs*”
2. “Yeah mam and dad, I’ll make sure to get travel insurance. OK, bye. Byebyebyebyebye.”
What they mean: “I’m just agreeing with this to placate you both. I have no intention of doing the thing you want me to do. OK, bye. Byebyebyebyebye.”
3. “What are my plans? Well, I’m thinking of doing a TEFL course.”
What they mean: “There are no plans. None. Go away.”
4. “I’m going to get myself some nice wine as a payday treat.”
What they mean: “I’m going to get wine that costs €8 instead of €6. This is the LIFE.”
5. “This shirt is hand wash only? Oh, I must do that as soon as possible.”
What they mean: “This shirt will stay at the bottom of my laundry pile for, oh, four months? Then I will give up and throw it into a normal wash. Fingers crossed!”
6. “Sorry, my room is a bit messy.”
What they mean: “My room looks like a bomb hit it. You know that, I know that, but let’s pretend it’s just ‘messy’.”
7. “Yeah, I’ve had my dinner.”
What they mean: “I’ve had a spoon of peanut butter and a dry bagel that was just a tiny bit mouldy, but not mouldy enough to throw out. In other words: dinner.”
8. “John has a new girlfriend? I did not know that!”
What they mean: “Of course I know that. I’ve scrolled deep into her Instagram, her friends’ Instagrams, and the Instagrams of their cousins. I know everything.”
9. “Going home to see the parents at the weekend! It’ll be nice.”
What they mean: “I’m going to eat all of their food. I hope they baby me a bit. I do miss being babied.”
10. “One student ticket, please.”
What they mean: “Please don’t ask to see my (expired) student card. Give me this one win. Please.”
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