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Dublin: 14 °C Tuesday 5 November, 2024

11 essential facts of life for women with short hair

*scrapes hair back into world’s tiniest ponytail*

IT’S NOT JUST a haircut. It’s a lifestyle.

1. The difference in the weight of your head is EXTREME

You’re so light! Free! Easy, breezy, beautiful!

2. But it all comes crashing down when you try to get it off your face

You’re either going to get a little pipsqueak of a ponytail (that starts falling down after five mins):

Or this kind of situation:

3. You’ve had at least one haircut that has made you cry

You resemble a granny. Or they went too short. Or they gave you too many layers in an effort to make it ‘funky’ and you look like you just stepped out of the mid-2000s.

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4. You know when you need to get a hair cut because you look like a triangle

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5. Or worse, Liam Gallagher

Oasis Photocall - London PA Archive / PA Images PA Archive / PA Images / PA Images

Shout out to all the pixie cut ladies with semi-mullets.

6. You’ve endured absolutely horrendous in-between styles while growing it out

2013 American Music Awards - Arrivals - Los Angeles You are Billy Ray in this photo, not Miley. Francis Specker / PA Wire Francis Specker / PA Wire / PA Wire

Trumpian combovers, massive fringes, tiny, round bobs… Each worse than the last. But you persist.

7. You get lads saying “I usually like girls with long hair but…” as if it’s a HUGE compliment

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Wow, oh my god! Thank you for choosing me despite my physical deficiency!

8. And people are always asking if you intend to grow it out

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They’re weirdly concerned. No need.

9. But a sweaty neck is a thing of the past

Interstellar European Premiere - London Doug Peters / EMPICS Entertainment Doug Peters / EMPICS Entertainment / EMPICS Entertainment

Summer is much more manageable now your neck and back are exposed to the breeze.

10. And it takes you a fraction of the time to blowdry and style your hair

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Ideal for the busy gal on the go.

11. And you look chic as f**k

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows premiere - London PA Wire PA Wire

Which is the main aim of the enterprise, obviously. *tiny hair flick*

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Author
Valerie Loftus
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