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14 things you'll understand if you secretly live for gossip

XOXO Gossip Girl.

DON’T LIE. YOU know it’s true.

1. You’ve said the words “I hate drama”

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Oh yeah?

2. Meanwhile, when there is drama

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3. This is your favourite emoji

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Oh yes. The all seeing eyes. Watching everything, just like you.

4. You get genuinely excited when somebody has news

Does this mean your own life is sad? Yeah, probably. *shrugs*

5. Your investigative skills are on par with Sherlock

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“Did you hear that Paul has a new girlfriend?”
“*pulls up Facebook page* Is this her?”
“…Yes.”

6. You’ve got creeping down to a fine art

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See you getting to your friend’s sister’s fiancé’s best friend’s Instagram page and back without accidentally liking anything. In and out like a whisper.

7. And you’re the MASTER of pretending you haven’t a clue what’s going on

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What you say: “What? Mary is breaking up with John again? No!”
What you mean: “I’ve been monitoring both their Facebook pages ever since Mary posted that pass ag status on Friday. I KNEW IT.”

8. Whenever there’s beef on Twitter you’re there, observing

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Maybe throwing a shady fave here and there. But mostly observing.

9. You’ve scrolled through dozens of tweets, photos and statuses to get the full picture

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The “AHA!” moments are rare but beautiful.

10. And your phone is FULL of screenshots you’ve sent to similarly-minded friends

What do you think this means, eh?

11. You’ve sat transfixed as people argue loudly on public transport

Your love of gossip transcends personal ties. You’ll eavesdrop on anyone.

“I don’t know who Paul is, but I know he’s a cheating bastard.” – you on the 46A any given evening.

12. And greatly enjoy watching a celebrity scandal unfold

Two words: Blind items.

13. No matter how hard you try to be ‘good’…

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You have better things to do than to be going down rabbit holes of your mate’s new girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend! You’re going to take up…knitting!

14. …Curiosity will always get the better of you

You always miss that scalding hot goss. C’mere to me.

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