DON’T LIE. YOU know it’s true.
1. You’ve said the words “I hate drama”
Oh yeah?
2. Meanwhile, when there is drama
3. This is your favourite emoji
Oh yes. The all seeing eyes. Watching everything, just like you.
4. You get genuinely excited when somebody has news
Does this mean your own life is sad? Yeah, probably. *shrugs*
5. Your investigative skills are on par with Sherlock
“Did you hear that Paul has a new girlfriend?”
“*pulls up Facebook page* Is this her?”
“…Yes.”
6. You’ve got creeping down to a fine art
See you getting to your friend’s sister’s fiancé’s best friend’s Instagram page and back without accidentally liking anything. In and out like a whisper.
7. And you’re the MASTER of pretending you haven’t a clue what’s going on
What you say: “What? Mary is breaking up with John again? No!”
What you mean: “I’ve been monitoring both their Facebook pages ever since Mary posted that pass ag status on Friday. I KNEW IT.”
8. Whenever there’s beef on Twitter you’re there, observing
Maybe throwing a shady fave here and there. But mostly observing.
9. You’ve scrolled through dozens of tweets, photos and statuses to get the full picture
The “AHA!” moments are rare but beautiful.
10. And your phone is FULL of screenshots you’ve sent to similarly-minded friends
What do you think this means, eh?
11. You’ve sat transfixed as people argue loudly on public transport
Your love of gossip transcends personal ties. You’ll eavesdrop on anyone.
“I don’t know who Paul is, but I know he’s a cheating bastard.” – you on the 46A any given evening.
12. And greatly enjoy watching a celebrity scandal unfold
Two words: Blind items.
13. No matter how hard you try to be ‘good’…
You have better things to do than to be going down rabbit holes of your mate’s new girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend! You’re going to take up…knitting!
14. …Curiosity will always get the better of you
You always miss that scalding hot goss. C’mere to me.
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