AH, YOUR CO-WORKERS. Inhabiting that very weird space between friend and stranger, communicating with them can be a minefield.
Sometimes honesty has to take a back seat for peace and harmony to reign supreme. Speak your mind? At the office? You have to be joking.
1. What you say:
What you mean: I sat on my arse for two whole days and it was FANTASTIC. But for some reason a strange shame prevents me from telling you this.
2. What you say:
What you mean: One of you took my tub of hummus and I want it back. I will burn ALL OF YOU. I WILL FIND MY HUMMUS.
3. What you say:
What you mean: You may have taken my lunch from me, but you will not take my freedom. I’m totally buying a gigantic messy sandwich and eating it in front of you.
4. What you say:
What you mean: Say you’d like me to get you some tea. Go on. I DARE you.
5. What you say:
What you mean: I haven’t a clue. I just haven’t a clue, can you tell?
6. What you say:
What you mean: Wine and cheese evening in your house on Thursday? I WILL YEAH.
7. What you say:
What you mean: I can hear you sniffing over there. You better not infect me with your germs, Snotty. You will regret that.
8. What you say:
What you mean: They want to kick me out, don’t they. DOOM! Doom and gloom. *O Fortuna plays*
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