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Dublin: 8 °C Monday 23 December, 2024

Why don't you get your loved ones this €1150 Tiffany tin can for Christmas?

There’s your presents sorted!

THE RANGE OF objects that exist for people of means to spend their money on is vast, and Tiffany is only too happy to add to it.

ball of yarn That's a €10,400 decorative silver ball of wool. Tiffany.ie Tiffany.ie

As part of its new ‘Everyday Objects’ collection, the luxury brand is turning “utilitarian items into handcrafted works of art” (their words, not ours). It’s whimsical! It’s fun! It’s… incomprehensible to most rational-thinking people.

Items in the collection include €400 gold silly straws:

straw Tiffany.ie Tiffany.ie

A €110 set of two china cups designed to look like paper ones:

tiffanycups Tiffany.ie Tiffany.ie

And this silver protractor for €490. Imagine heading into Maths Paper 2 with this!

protractor Tiffany.ie Tiffany.ie

But the pièce de résistance is this €1150 sterling silver ‘tin can’, which Tiffany is suggesting you use as a pencil holder:

tin can2 Tiffany.ie Tiffany.ie

You might say to yourself, “Who would be mad enough to buy this?” but did you notice the ‘instantly recognisable’ Tiffany Blue enamel accent running down the side? Did you? Because any person with taste would. So. You’re just embarrassing yourself.

tin can Tiffany.ie Tiffany.ie

Tiffany has been roundly pilloried for the collection by people who obviously lack refinement.

Philistines, all of them. As for us? We’re picking up 12 for stocking fillers. Happy Christmas to all, and to all a sterling silver tin can.

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