1. No, you can’t buy alcohol in the pub today

This is the sign on the door of The Temple Bar.

Daragh Brophy Daragh Brophy

2. Really, look at these tourists in Temple Bar. So confused

Read about their woes here.

3. But there are a few ways around it

Yes, you can take a ferry to Holyhead if you fancy a bev that much.

4. This leads to hell on earth in off licences on Holy Thursday night

5. While eating meat is seen as a desperate sign of disrespect

But you can still buy meat if you want, you heathen.

6. Ditto chocolate and sweets

Lent isn’t over until you crack into your Twirl Easter egg on Sunday morning.

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7. And you can still hear the Angelus every evening before the main evening news

Bong! Bong! Bong!

8. And there are some pubs that play the National Anthem at the end of every night

No, not Don’t Stop Believing, the actual National Anthem. The lights go on, everyone stands up, and belts it out in Irish.

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9. And a small bun is a…

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How Well Do You Know Amhrán na bhFiann?

Tragic scenes in Temple Bar as tourists realise the pubs are closed