THIS MORNING, TICKETS for U2′s dates in Dublin and Belfast went on sale.
It was a trying experience for all involved.
First, you were greeted with a list of options as long as your arm.
Music Generation Zone? VIP Travel Package? Official Platinum Tickets?
None of these words make any sense to me! I just want a normal, reasonably-priced ticket. Not a gold-encrusted ticket that grants me the opportunity to touch The Edge’s foot or whatever.
After completing a random captcha code — “Amazing Atmosphere” and “Baby Blues” were the ones we filled out — you were directed to this ominous holding page…
Processing… high demand… patience.
They might as well just say, “HAHA, NOT A CHANCE, LOVE.”
And once that was “processed”, you were met with this.
“33 minutes. I can do this,” you think to yourself. “I just have to sit perfectly still and make sure I don’t refresh the page. I’ll just look at those circles go round and round and round. Maybe I’ll use the time to meditate!”
Two minutes later…
COME ON TO F**K!
Until finally it looked as though there was light at the end of the tunnel!
Four minutes, baby!
*opening strains of Where The Streets Have No Name plays faintly in the distance*
Only for your dreams to then be crushed
You:
You can’t fathom how on Earth these people managed to procure the fabled tickets.
Sorcery? Bribery? How??????
But sure, maybe you can get a ticket from a third party seller, right?
Or maybe not!
Ah well, there’s always next time.
Have fun, guys.
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