1. Have your ticket ready before you get to the entrance barrier
2. And whatever you do, DON’T stop dead in front of the barrier while you search for it
This will cause a human pile up some day. Mark our words.
3. Don’t spread your personal items across the entire table
You get the square of table directly in front of your seat. That is all.
4. Please make sure to press the lock button on the toilet
Because you’ll only have yourself to blame when the door sloooowly opens to reveal you there, pants down, on the loo.
5. And if the train wobbles and you make a mess, CLEAN IT UP
No one wants to wipe someone else’s pissy toilet seat. This is a fact.
6. Do not tut and roll your eyes when someone asks you to move from their pre-booked seat
It’s their seat, you clown.
7. Use your indoor voice
Nobody needs to hear you tell Paddy that you’ve GONE THROUGH FOXFORD NOW. YEAH. FOXFORD. ARE YOU LEAVING FOR THE STATION NOW? IS THE DINNER ON?
8. Do not stare at the people sitting across from you
They *always* notice.
9. Put your suitcase in the luggage rack
Not squished into the crack between the seat and the table.
10. And for god’s sake, don’t trap the person in the window seat by falling asleep
Nobody wants to have to wake you up. Seriously.
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