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Dublin: 11 °C Friday 8 November, 2024

8 news items that will make you glad you're not in a relationship

Do not want.

THESE COUPLES AND jilted lovers have made some questionable decisions. Another eight reasons to be thankful you’re single this Valentine’s Day. Or, y’know, always.

1. Mackle no more

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These pair are fond of extremes.

2. We’ve all been there

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A 33-year-old man in France was arrested for sending 21,807 calls and texts to his ex-girlfriend to demand she thank him for fixing their flat. “I tell myself, with hindsight, that it was stupid” he told the court. Yes, yes it was.

3. What’s she gonna look like…

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This one is pretty self-explanatory. It’s a suitable way to try gain illegal entry in your ex’s, but why was she naked? Did you HAVE to be naked?

4. Your spirit animals

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This pair were arrested after they were spotted shoplifiting from a supermarket. When apprehended by police, they discovered 57 blocks of cheese they had taken from Walmart. The couple who eat cheese together, stay together.

5. The woman with a plan

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Alicia Walicke stole a $3.99 bottle of wine so she could see her boyfriend in jail following her arrest. Her boyfriend had just been arrested, and she made sure to get stuck into the wine before being taken off by police.

6. Don’t cheeto on me

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A 40-year-old man and 44-year-old woman in Tennessee were involved in a ‘verbal altercation’ when the cheesy puffs got involved somehow. No one was hurt, but think of all those crushed corn snacks.

7. They belong together

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This pair of lovebirds had to be rescued from a closet they were chased into, despite the fact that it was opened all the time. <3 <3

8. A very valid argument

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A couple staying in a motel in Cleveland got arrested following a heated debate on who was the better guitarist, Slash or Eddie Van Halen. The police were called by motel staff when the couple went mad at each other, but the pair were only arrested after police discovered they had outstanding warrants. Bummer. It’s definitely Slash, anyway.

Typical Valentine’s Day gifts, rated by Irish people>

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Author
Nicola Byrne
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