FRIDAY NIGHT IS a big night for after work drinks.

And sure, why not?  You’ve put in the hard slog, and it’s nice to relax with your colleagues for a drink or two.

The thing is, it rarely ends up being that civilised.

In fact it rarely ends up being civilised at all.

Here’s what you can expect from a work night out.

You plan to only have one or two in order to stay professional but end up on a mad one

Your colleagues are a really bad influence.

Someone gets stuck with the bore who only wants to discuss work

It’s likely to be you.  Not fun work stuff either, the nuances of certain work practices.

The reserved girl from accounts turns out to be a filthy dancer

She’s twerking all over the shop.

Someone who normally doesn’t say much decides to give the boss a piece of his/her mind

Everyone watches, unable to intervene despite knowing that they’ll hate themselves in the morning.

Someone vomits

Probably on an important person, or an important person’s piece of clothing.

A member of staff turns up wearing something deeply inappropriate

The braless boob tube look is probably best saved for a night out with the girlos.

Two very unlikely people share a romantic moment

Probably a  member of senior management and someone who’s in on work experience.

You have a deep and meaningful conversation with a superior

Which at the time is wonderful but makes for a very uncomfortable Monday morning.

There is a fight over nothing

Someone gets annoyed about something completely insignificant, someone tries to calm them down, and then someone throws a punch.  It’s all very embarrassing.

Someone meets the big boss in the jacks and asks him what he does for the company

‘I’m in customer service, what do you do?’

You make a new best work friend who is your partner in crime for the night

You then feel awkward about it on Monday.