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Dublin: 13 °C Thursday 7 November, 2024

The 14 stages of realising you're a Winter Olympics superfan

AKA the journey from zero to obsessed.

1. Sitting down in front of the telly, with nothing particular in mind

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2. Discovering that the Winter Olympics are on

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3. Realising that this is the only thing you know about the Winter Olympics

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(That and what you learned from Mighty Ducks.)

4. Being totally baffled by a weird sport you’ve never encountered before

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5. Saying something to the screen like…

Janie Osborne / AP/Press Association Images Janie Osborne / AP/Press Association Images / AP/Press Association Images

6. Becoming oddly addicted, and totally losing track of time

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7. Four hours later, discovering that you’re sitting on the edge of the sofa, and getting REALLY engaged

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8. Because you now know everything there is to know about winter sport, and have passionate opinions about all of it

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9. Along with deep loyalties to particular teams, who you would go to the grave for if called upon

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10. Getting emotional over the against-the-odds triumph of an underdog

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11. Becoming conscious that figure skating is your favourite thing in the world ever, and probably also your one true vocation in life

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12. Recognising that skeleton athletes are our culture’s only true daredevil heroes and should be celebrated like kings

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13. Vowing to take up at least one Olympic sport after the games are over

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“Sure isn’t there a dry ski slope in Wicklow?”

14. Realising that it’s 5am, you’re up watching the curling, and you have to go to work in three hours.

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But hey, it’s worth it.

These screaming curlers are the new stars of the Winter Olympics>

Heroic cat falls through ceiling of Sochi skating arena, walks away>

Author
Michael Freeman
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