1. ‘Candy’
Penny sweets and milseán are the only acceptable alternatives.
2. ‘Garbage/trash’
Rubbish. IT IS RUBBISH. Or, in informal conversations, the black bin.
3. ‘Mom’
As if you’d ask your MOM what ye were having for dinner. Hmm, I don’t know, maybe MAC ‘N’ CHEESE?
4. ‘Pint of lager’
It’s a fucking pint, relax.
5. ‘Crimbo’
6. ‘Soda’
Or ‘pop’. It’s a Coke – or, more broadly, a ‘mineral’.
https://www.facebook.com/MrJamesKavanagh/videos/1582186835416558/
7. ‘Pudding’, when referring to a dessert
“Anyone for pudding?”
Give me my jelly and ice cream and shove it, Karen.
8. ‘Tea’, when referring to a meal
Tea comes as Lyons or Barrys, and in a cup. None of this small meal bullshit.
9. ‘Store’
“Just nipping to the corner store to get some milk!”
*blank gaze*
10. ‘Going dutch’
This just means when someone pays for their own meal on a date. Wholly unnecessary and could easily be misinterpreted.
11. ‘Jonesing’
This, apparently, means “to be craving something intensely”, but let’s leave that definition to the yanks and just keep Jones as being a very good last name. (Ahem).
12. ‘Supper’
When did ‘dinner’ stop sufficing? Leave it out.
13. ‘Footy’
Spare me.
14. ‘Poppycock’
Plenty of other words for taking shite.
15. ‘Jelly’, instead of jam
Put this word and your sore excuse for a preserve.
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