This site uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide services and advertising.
By continuing to browse, you agree to the use of cookies described in our Cookies Policy.
You may change your settings at any time but this may impact on the functionality of the site.
To learn more see our Cookies Policy.
What’s it about?: Call Me Claus stars Whoopi Goldberg as a TV producer who accidentally hires the real Santa Claus to play Santa Claus on television. Uh-oh! Santa Claus, who is coming to the end of his 200-year contract, must then convince Whoopi to take over the role of Santa.
It all sounds fairly terrible anyway. And that’s before you realise it features “new music from Garth Brooks”.
What’s it about?: A busy couple hire a Christmas consultant (because that’s a thing) to help them plan a big Christmas Eve party in this film that looks like it had a budget of, oh, €120.
Did we mention the titular Christmas consultant is played by David Hasselhoff? It is.
What’s it about?: It’s literally a film adaptation of The Christmas Shoes by Newsong i.e. the sappiest Christmas song there is. It stars Rob Lowe as a workaholic lawyer who, you guessed it, discovers the true meaning of Christmas.
What’s it all about?: A heartwarming tale of a legit psycho who kidnaps a customer from her restaurant and forces him to pretend to be her boyfriend. Haha, classic Christmas hijinks!
Instead of pressing charges, however, the fake boyfriend actually falls in love with his kidnapper and they live happily ever after.
What’s it all about?: Regularly listed among the worst films of all-time, it features two parents from Mars kidnapping Santa Claus as there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents.
What’s it all about?: Steve Guttenberg is the son of Santa Claus and must replace him on December 26th. Except there’s one problem: he’s single and needs a wife to assume the position. (Apparently that’s a job stipulation. Who knew?)
He starts courting a high-flying ad executive, but faces one hurdle: he must convince her to believe in Santa.
If you think it sounds like a bit of a waste of time, you’re not wrong.
What’s it all about?: The film takes the beloved internet meme Grumpy Cat, places it in a pet store and forces the surly feline to befriend a 12-year-old girl.
As inviting as a Christmas film starring Grumpy Cat may sound, the consensus is that it’s a little bit dire.
The Grumpy Cat movie is on again on Lifetime in case you hate your eyes #WorstChristmasEver
What’s it all about?: An astronomy professor is left alone for Christmas and bonds with a cowboy over their love of constellations. That’s literally it.
Friday 15 November, 2024
Friday 15 November, 2024
Download our app
8 spectacularly bad Christmas films you won't believe exist
WHEN IT COMES to Christmas films that make us feel warm and fuzzy on the inside, humanity is truly spoiled for choice.
Lurking behind the shadows, however, are a number of truly terrible Christmas films.
Don’t believe us? Look no further.
1. Call Me Claus (2001)
What’s it about?: Call Me Claus stars Whoopi Goldberg as a TV producer who accidentally hires the real Santa Claus to play Santa Claus on television. Uh-oh! Santa Claus, who is coming to the end of his 200-year contract, must then convince Whoopi to take over the role of Santa.
It all sounds fairly terrible anyway. And that’s before you realise it features “new music from Garth Brooks”.
2. The Christmas Consultant (2012)
What’s it about?: A busy couple hire a Christmas consultant (because that’s a thing) to help them plan a big Christmas Eve party in this film that looks like it had a budget of, oh, €120.
Did we mention the titular Christmas consultant is played by David Hasselhoff? It is.
Watch the weirdly creepy/tense trailer here.
3. The Christmas Shoes (2002)
What’s it about?: It’s literally a film adaptation of The Christmas Shoes by Newsong i.e. the sappiest Christmas song there is. It stars Rob Lowe as a workaholic lawyer who, you guessed it, discovers the true meaning of Christmas.
We don’t know why it was made either.
4. Holiday in Handcuffs (2007)
What’s it all about?: A heartwarming tale of a legit psycho who kidnaps a customer from her restaurant and forces him to pretend to be her boyfriend. Haha, classic Christmas hijinks!
Instead of pressing charges, however, the fake boyfriend actually falls in love with his kidnapper and they live happily ever after.
Here is an actual quote from the trailer:
Right then.
5. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
What’s it all about?: Regularly listed among the worst films of all-time, it features two parents from Mars kidnapping Santa Claus as there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents.
Here is the trailer.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
6. Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus (2004)
What’s it all about?: Steve Guttenberg is the son of Santa Claus and must replace him on December 26th. Except there’s one problem: he’s single and needs a wife to assume the position. (Apparently that’s a job stipulation. Who knew?)
He starts courting a high-flying ad executive, but faces one hurdle: he must convince her to believe in Santa.
If you think it sounds like a bit of a waste of time, you’re not wrong.
7. Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever (2014)
What’s it all about?: The film takes the beloved internet meme Grumpy Cat, places it in a pet store and forces the surly feline to befriend a 12-year-old girl.
As inviting as a Christmas film starring Grumpy Cat may sound, the consensus is that it’s a little bit dire.
Ouch.
8. One Starry Christmas
What’s it all about?: An astronomy professor is left alone for Christmas and bonds with a cowboy over their love of constellations. That’s literally it.
Sounds like a case of coming up with the title (“A Starry Night”) and scrambling to come up with a plot to fit it, if you ask us.
We won’t be watching it anyway.
12 hilarious Christmas cards that are most definitely better than yours >
16 faces every Christmas shopper will recognise >
To embed this post, copy the code below on your site
Christmas christmas flicks Films yule 2014