SOMETIMES WHEN LISTENING to a song for the first time, you hear a lyric that is so bad that you are physically stunned. You can’t help but actually make ‘the blinking man meme’ expression.
Below, we have rounded up some of the most terrible “Did I really just hear that?” lyrics of all time.
1. Eminem – Love The Way You Lie
“Now you get to watch her leave out the window/
Guess that’s why they call it window pane”
I am absolutely CERTAIN that is not the etymology of the word window pane. People in emotional pain definitely do not exit through windows often enough for the glass inside windows to be named after it.
2. Ke$ha ft. 3OH!3 – Blah Blah Blah
Zip your lips like a padlock
While this song perfectly encapsulates how weird pop music was in 2010, it also makes it very clear that Ke$ha had no idea how to operate a padlock.
3. Black Eyed Peas – Boom Boom Pow
I’m so 3008, you’re so 2000 and late.
Realistically if you were 3008 you would be dead because of global warming, so that’s not really something to brag about Black Eyed Peas. Wait. Is that what the Busted song was about? That song came out 2 years before The Day After Tomorrow got everyone freaked out about climate change. Were Busted deliberately trying to warn us that we will have all of the icecaps melted by the year 3000?
4. Miley Cyrus – 4×4
She can change her image and try go back to her old self as much as she wants, but she will never be able to undo the damage she did to my soul with these lyrics:
Driving so fast ’bout to piss on myself,Driving so fast ’bout to piss on myself,Driving so fast ’bout to piss on myself.
5. The Clash – Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
If I go there will be trouble, if I stay it will be double.
They make this whole song about deciding whether or not to leave when the answer is clearly to go because it will only amount to half of the trouble that staying will cause.
6. Robin Thicke – Blurred Lines
What rhymes with hug me?
Rugby?
7. Fergie ft. Will.I.Am – Fergalicious
T to the A to the S T E Y, girl you tasty.
Thankfully Fergie later redeemed herself for this spelling error by teaching us all how to spell glamorous.
8. The Killers – Human
Are we humans? Or are we dancer?
For a long time I wanted to believe that the lyrics were actually “Are we denser?” because that could make some kind of sense. But no. Their website confirms that Brandon Flowers is asking “Are we dancer?” Are we dancer? I don’t know.
9. Bruno Mars – Grenade
Should’ve known you was trouble
From the first kiss
Had your eyes wide open
Why were they open?
The only way he could know her eyes were open would be if he had his own eyes open.
10. Razorlight – Somewhere else
And I met a girl
She asked me my name
I told her what it was
The rest of the song is not much better than that. It seems Razorlight nailed the aesthetic and the sound to be extremely popular in 2005-2008 but they just prayed that nobody would actually listen to the lyrics.
11. Drake feat. Big Sean – All Me
Big Sean really spoiled this song by adding this ridiculous line:
I’m the type to have a bullet-proof condom
And still gotta pull out
But that’s just me and I ain’t perfect
12. Drake – Forever
He may have a lot of awards now, but ‘Forever’ by Drake is a big reminder of how far he’s come. Every line is more ridiculous than the last:
Like a sprained ankle, boy, I ain’t nothin’ to play with
Swimmin’ in the money, come and find me: Nemo
If I was at the club, you know I balled: chemo
Why Drake? Why?
13. Black Eyed Peas – I Got A Feeling
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Friday, Saturday, Saturday and Sunday.
I really, deeply wish there were two Saturdays in a week. The lyrics are already pretty bad if you’re resorting to naming off the days of the week. That’s usually kept for kids nursery rhymes.
14. The Killers – All These Things That I’ve Done
I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.
The Black Eyed Peas are not the only repeat offenders.
15. Puff Daddy – Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down
Young, black, and famous, with money hangin’ out the anus
Go see a doctor.
16. Jessie J – Wild
Am I asleep? No, I’m alive.
To be asleep you have to be alive. Also features this line from Big Sean:
Today I woke up, feelin’ like a mirror.
17. Justin Bieber – Boyfriend
Swag, swag, swag on you. Chillin’ by the fire while we eatin’ fondue.
If you’re going to unnecessarily add the words “swag, swag, swag on you” to a song, you should probably make an effort to follow them up with a less ridiculous line. But no.
18. Coldplay – Fix You
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones
Ok the first bit about the lights is fine, kind of wholesome even. Igniting your bones? That does not sound so nice. How strong are these lights? Sounds like some kind of therapy Chris Martin was probably introduced to by Gwyneth Paltrow before their conscious uncoupling. If she likes deliberately getting stung by bees and putting olive oil in her vagina, then who can honestly say they’d be surprised to hear she likes to burn her bones.
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