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Dublin: 10 °C Saturday 16 November, 2024

8 bedtime realisations that are guaranteed to ruin your night

Damn it all, damn it all to hell.

SO YOU’RE JUST about to go to bed, relax, chill out, and let your worries melt away.

But there’s always something, isn’t there? These little things are just waiting to wreck those inital blissful moments you slip into that luscious cloud of comfort.

1. You forgot you washed the sheets

You thought you were sooo clever washing your sheets but now look at you. A sorry excuse for a human, sobbing into your hot press as you scour around for a substitute.

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WHY GOD, WHY?

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2. You forgot to bring the bins out

Maybe if you stay there your flatmate/other half will notice and tak– HA! Up you get.

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If only you had an aim like this…

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3. Lunches aren’t made

Why do school-going kids always need stuff? Dress up day, school tour day, bring a five-course-homecooked-meal-to-school day? Seriously. So much stuff, so little vertical hours in which to remember.

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Not only that, but the fridge is empty. Off to Tesco with you.

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4. Your hair is wet

All you wanted was a quick shower to be fresh for sleep and to buy you a few extra hours in the scratcher in the morning. But now your hair-dryer is acting up and you’re left with a sopping head and a cushy dry pillow that poses the heartbreaking dilemma. Wait around for it to dry, or fall asleep with a damp head and wake with a stiff neck.

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5. Your phone/laptop battery is going and your charger is downstairs

WHY YOU? You’re like TEN MINUTES away from the end of this Sherlock episode. We can’t be certain, but we’re pretty sure this is the worst thing that can ever happen anybody.

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6. The heat/immersion is still on

Ugh you just had an amazing bath, got straight into those pyjamas off the radiator and right into bed. But you forgot to turn everything OFF.

Nooooooo.

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Let’s be honest, it’s not far.

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But this is what you imagine when you’re comfy in bed:

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7. You’re still wearing makeup/haven’t washed your mush

If there’s one thing your mam taught you, it’s to never go to bed with a dirty face.

B-b-but this is the LAST thing in the world you feel like doing right now. What should feel light and refreshing like this:

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Feels like this:

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Just punch us. Just punch our damn face.

8. You’ve only gone and spilled something

There’s the frantic feel for the affected areas to assess the damage, then the resigned changing of the sheet. Or, y’know, sleep with a towel between you and the soggy underlay. It’s been a tough day.

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9 irrational thoughts that will keep you awake tonight>

9 lies you’ve already told yourself today>

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