INTERVIEWS ARE STRESSFUL situations at the best of times. You’re trying to showcase the best aspects of yourself when all you really want to say is ‘I need the money, please give me the job’ instead of ‘I love working with people!’

BigDirtyFry over on Twitter who is already known for his excellent radio sketches  started a discussion on the stupidest things people have said in an interview and the results are fantastic.

What's the stupidest thing you've ever come out with in an interview? I was asked if the warehouse I worked in was a big organisation and said "Well physically yes, it was a warehouse" as if the interviewer would be impressed by the size of the building I worked in.

— Michael Fry (@BigDirtyFry) March 23, 2018

A lot of people seemed to have issues in their Irish orals

In my Irish oral I was trying to talk abt how I like true crime novels and watch docs about crime and serial killers etc but basically just told her I'm really interested in murder and people who kill people, she let me continue before awkwardly being like OK.. So lets move on

— rick and morto (@DylanTeeBH) March 23, 2018

I don't know if it quite fits but in my Irish oral I made up a word for dwarf because I was talking about Game of Thrones and panicked when she asked me who my favourite character was,

— Rachel O’Neill (@ronronzo) March 23, 2018

Not an interview but in my Irish oral I panicked and said my favourite band is The Script... I know it doesn't sound like much but it still keeps me awake at night

— Aoife (@aoifeisainmdom_) March 23, 2018

In fact orals in any language seem to really catch people out

In my German oral for the leaving I couldn't remember how to say any type of reason for why a train was delayed and panicked and said someone stood in front of it. Then I told the examiner that the lampshade in my bedroom was a brick

— Big Con (@cxnmunism) March 23, 2018

Not an interview but in a spanish oral I got asked about ghosts and stuff and I told the examiner about how my mother had been to visit a medium to try and speak with my grandad (who isn’t dead)

— little miss springfield (@yssaknife) March 23, 2018

Some people were just really thrown by the question

I was asked what my content experience was and I just blurted out "you know, words". Then I started to panic and started saying "words... words, you know? haha anyway... *words*"

— Tom Savage (@MajorTomSavage) March 23, 2018

Interview for undergrad politics at Oxford. I'm 17. Asked a question I couldn't answer and spent 10 minutes talking about why rain would stop people going to vote. Did not get it to Oxford.

— Rob Fuller (@robfuller91) March 23, 2018

I have responded with the word ‘bullets’ to ‘what are your weaknesses’ on more than one occasion.

It’s an instinct I wish I could delete.

— Jagged Little Yoke (@beehassler) March 23, 2018

And some people just went with whatever came into their head

"I run a Facebook group devoted to people who love chicken fillet rolls."

— Hannibal Burgers (@Call_Me_Ciaran) March 23, 2018

I was asked in an internal interview what changes I'd make to any current processes. said instead of bday cards going round for everyone to sign, just assume everyone wishes you a happy bday unless someone actively says otherwise

— andrew (@wee_abe) March 23, 2018

An interviewer was inquiring about a project I worked on and asked “is there anything you’d do differently?” I thought he was asking me to critique his interviewing style so I gave him some unwanted advice.

— Political Judo (@PoliticalJudo) March 23, 2018

And then there was just pure and utter honesty

"If you were a tree, what tree would you be?" was apparently a way to see what my personality was like.

"I don't know. What does that have to do with tech support?" was not the right answer apparently.

— Thomas Atkins (@ThomasAtkins90) March 23, 2018

Was asked why I wanted a job at the new IKEA in Belfast and I told them that my mum just wanted me to get an employee discount. Which was the truth.

— Nathan Stewart (@nathanjstewart) March 23, 2018

I'd put "health = excellent" on my cv. When they questioned it, I stupidly followed up with "I've never been sick. I've never broken a bone, almost drowned once. You might say I'm like a hairier, more out of shape Bruce Willis from Unbreakable."
Crickets

— Dara Brady (@darabrady8) March 23, 2018

And finally we had the outright winner

A guy I know told his oral examiner that he was the youngest person to climb Kilimanjaro and it got out of hand and the Irish times tried to interview him for a story on it

— peanut (@_M_egg) March 23, 2018

Irish orals will evidently be the end of us all.

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