TRICK OR TREATING was the whole point of Halloween as a kid, basically an excuse to terrorise your neighbours and eat your weight in junk.
However, some people are unclear as to what they should be giving out to trick or treaters. Here are a few things they do not appreciate, for a start.
1. Monkey nuts
Monkey nuts are nice, yes, but why so many of them? And why are some of them so difficult to crack? It’s a conspiracy to distract children from the actual sweets.
2. Fruit in general
People who give fruit to trick or treaters are dryshites. And you can take that to the bank.
3. Those little boxes of raisins
DRYSHITES. May they all get egged.
4. Any sort of loose sweets
Licorice Allsorts, jelly beans, etc. They picked up all the fluff from your pillowcase, rendering them inedible. Rude and uncalled for.
5. Sucky sweets
Save them for your gran!
6. Cling-filmed balls of popcorn
Just scabby. At least buy a multipack.
7. Change
Get a piggy bank, and stop forcing your coppers on the neighbourhood children.
8. Parma Violets and/or Fizzers
If we wanted to eat chalk, we would just eat chalk. Ban them. Ban them all.
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