LIKE ANY MUSIC festival, Electric Picnic has its share of wreck-the-heads.
You are guaranteed to meet each and every one of these people over the weekend, unless you actually ARE them (shudder). Consider this a warning.
1. The ones who never leave the campsite
They’re always right beside your tent, they always have a massive gazebo, and they’ll be under it for the duration of the weekend.
When you get back from Body & Soul at 4am, they’ll be there. When you wake up after a few hours’ kip, they’ll be there. They paid €200+ to sit down.
2. The people staying in hotels or B&Bs
Clean skin, glossy hair, clothes that haven’t been slept in. Just who do they think they are?
3. The people looking for lifts at 9.37pm on a Thursday night
There are definitely at least six of these posts on your Facebook timeline right now:
Oh sure, no bother. Where’s the block button?
4. The ones having extremely audible sex somewhere in the mass of tents around you
We were all one big, happy campsite family. Now you’ve gone and made it awkward.
5. The ones stopping everyone to ask where the rave in the wood is
If you have to ask, maybe you will never know? *floats away mysteriously*
6. The ones who will roar at you for no particular reason
Just sitting there, gawping and shouting “WAHEYYY!” at everyone who walks past. We suppose it’s part of the festival spirit, but why?
7. The people who get up early to do yoga every morning
Just thinking about it is making our heads hurt.
8. The ones who are tweeting ‘Take me back!’ ten minutes after leaving the grounds
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What do we think about just leaving them there? How does that sound?
9. And the people who sleep in the car on the way home, when you have to drive
Ah, look at their smug, snug little heads, so quiet and settled there in the back. Aw. *applies emergency brake*
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