OTHERWISE KNOWN AS: gross stuff we all do alone but find difficult to admit.

As Michael Jackson once crooned, “You are not alone. I am here with you.”

1. You occasionally eat baked beans from the can

Yep.

Flickr / Smabs Sputzer Flickr / Smabs Sputzer / Smabs Sputzer

2. You secretly value bed over a shower

Ten more minutes in bed and get the later bus? Snooze button. Five more minutes in bed and forego a shower? Snooze button.

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3. You’re often too lazy to get out of bed to pee

“I don’t need to go that bad.” And then your kidneys go kaput like Grandpa Simpson’s.

Flickr / jamelah Flickr / jamelah / jamelah

4. You’ve worn swimming togs when you’ve run out of pants

For women, that goes for bikini tops as well as bottoms. Hey, they’re pretty much the same thing right?

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5. You sustain entire monologues with yourself

Home alone? Chats with yourself it is!

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6. You drink wine straight from the bottle sometimes

With the justification that you’re “saving on the washing-up”. Suuure.

7. You find stuff in your teeth hours after last eating

No judgement.

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8. You’re happy putting binge-watching TV above going out

You might as well get a “Just One More Episode” tattoo at this stage.

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Why are you single? Let us know in the comments. And remember: NO JUDGING. 

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